2 Ways to Catch Your Cheating Husband

Have seen the signs, and your mind has been putting the pieces together. Your husband has been coming home late or keeps very long hours under the pretext of work. When your husband comes home, after a silent dinner, he hops online and dismisses your questions with weird excuses... If you're worrying that your honey is up to something funny, and you truly want to find out, here are some approaches that might just help confirm what you suspect.

But before you rush all into this process, you need to spend a few days thinking about what you intend to do if or when your worst suspicions are eventually confirmed. You need to ask yourself if you so committed to your partner that you would never bring an end to the relationship, whatever the outcome of your sleuthing? If so, then it may be better to turn a blind eye to their indiscretions and spare yourself the agony of knowing the sordid details. Is believing that your husband is cheating on you in the first place an indication that there is something fundamentally wrong with your relationship, and you simply want an excuse to end it? In which case, it is on the rocks already, and it may be more productive devoting your energies to rescuing it or just getting out altogether.

 So, once you decide to investigate, be prepared to deal with what you find, good or bad.

1. Use a baby monitor.

This is really cheap, low-tech way of listening in. Of course, if there are no babies in your life at the moment, this can be a bit tricky, but you can get around that. Wait till he goes out "shopping" one day, and hit the local gizmo shop. Get a basic baby monitor, a can of spray paint that will blend with where you will put the transmitter, and a roll of matching masking tape (just in case the transmitter has blinking LEDs on it).

• Paint the transmitter (the baby/secret side) with the spray paint. Cover up the microphone hole before you paint so you don't gum up the works, and don't over-paint. You don't want that thing to be stinking up the house.
• Go to the room where you think he'll be making calls, and keep the transmitter in a discrete location where he's unlikely to look. Behind some books, or the couch, or if you're really hapless, somewhere in the bedroom or bath.
• Power it up, and put a portable radio in the room turned down to about human-whisper-and-giggle level. Go into your man(woman) cave, and turn on the receiver. Can you hear the radio? If so, you're ready to go. If not, make adjustments until you can hear the transmitter signal clearly.
• When that phone call comes, and he says "I have to get this... it's work," say, "Okay, honey, I'll be in the man cave surfing the 'Net for..." (You can say anything there: after he hears Okay, honey, I'll be..., he'll already have too much adrenaline pumping through her to hear you, anyway.) Go to your room, turn on the monitor, power up your recorder (phone, tape, whatever you've got), and listen to what happens next. Should you hear what you fear, call him a taxi, and send Mr. Macho on a one-way ticket to town. Of course, if you hear "Okay, I'll have that report by tomorrow, boss, and I.... wait, what's this... a transmitter?," you might want to take that taxi yourself. You're going to be in hot water.

2. Record digitally with a digital recorder.

There is a range of digital records, from pens, or thumb drives, or even phone look-alikes that are voice activated. That means you can just set one wherever you think your spouse may go for his or her phone fun, and when it happens, the electrical spy will spring into action, like a steel trap. Check that trap at your convenience, and good luck!

There you are. You can always look out for more ways to stop him from cheating on you but remember that there are consequences if he is truly not cheating and catches you instead.

5 Sure-fire Ways To Sabotage Your Relationship

 When we sabotage relationships, recognizing destructive behaviors is a vital step toward change.

Men  of trauma often react in defensive manners. It’s understandable. Survivors would do anything not to relive such pain. It becomes a problem when these reactions find their way into the relationships we want to keep close. I consider this “reactive mode.”

Reactive mode is one where we give both positive and negative feedback to others without taking much time to clearly think through our response. It’s a kneejerk reaction we deploy in critical situations.

Which is why this type of response is more prevalent in familiar settings.

READ MORE:Download your Copy - Body Language Cues Of A Cheating Partner by Kajay Williams

One of those settings, of the utmost importance, is our immediate relationship…our relationship that really matters to us. I call these “significant relationships.”

Have you realized you tend to be more patient with people who are not as close, or important to you?

Have you wondered why you this is the case?

We want our near and dear to think well of us. We care about what they think.

This is not so much the case for those with whom we have a closer, or longer term relationship. We tend to take them for granted.

Am I the only one who shares these sentiments? I don’t think so.

What tends to happen in our busy world where our reactions are more immediate to those close to us?

Without realizing it, we sabotage those relationships. Have you lived these five signs of sabotage?

1. Stereotyping

Stereotyping is attributing to someone a set of qualities because of their background … a group to which they belong. In this case, it would be a family, friend or cultural group.

Let me illustrate with my own relationship.

My wife and I are from Jamaica. Certain stereotypes are attributed to most women from Jamaica. One of those is that they know how to cook and will follow the tradition of having weekend meals of soup and rice and peas with a meat dish.

When I married my wife, I could easily hold onto this tradition and expect her to have a meal or meals made on the weekend–typical of a Jamaican household.

My expectation, which would be not expressed because I assumed she should know this, even though she grew up in the States from early childhood, is this would be our weekend experience.

This has not been the case. I could easily get frustrated and become cold, distant and irritable if I chose. It’s a textbook example of how stereotyping could sabotage my relationship— simply because she didn’t follow tradition.

2. Relying On Old Information

Most of us who have had longterm relationships, have formed opinions of those individuals, which we hold onto. This leads into not giving a person a chance to grow, mature and change.

It is true, most of what we know of other people hasn’t been created out of thin air. They are the ones who gave us the script to read. They acted in certain ways and said things to give us data about them, which we now store.

However, that information given to us may have been presented under duress, during their immature stage of life, or in their attempt to create an unsustainable impression.

Now they have “grown” up and matured. They manage their stress. They no longer need to impress. But what do we do? We don’t let go of the past. It is used as leverage, or an excuse to behave a certain way.

This is one sure way of sabotaging your relationship with your mate, colleague, business partner or customer.

3. Practice Inflexibility

This is what we do with the Old Information stated above…we refuse to be flexible, to change.

Sometimes this is our way of remaining in control. It’s a powerthing. We have something with which to draw on when we need to have the upper hand. It is our Old Information Card.

We keep this card in our back pocket, so to speak. It might be perceived as a security weapon.

As much as it may serve you, it sure isn’t serving your relationships. On the contrary, it is slowly sabotaging it.

Have you experienced this? Have you done this?

Even though you’ve been faced with evidence running contrary to your old information, you refuse to let go of it. Why? It’s a manner of being in control.

4. Keep The Blame Game Alive

I’ve yet to find a relationship that survives when the blame game is played continuously.

I know there are times evidence can be overwhelming, where the blame lies squarely at the feet of another. I get that.

However, it is so much easier to shift the blame onto others rather than accept responsibility.

When we are in blame mode, we overlook the fact  situations or circumstances are contributing factors to events. We make a lot of assumptions.

In my practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I see this a lot. Most times that is the posture couples take when they come into my office. They want me to align with one side as they point the blame at the other person for the demise of their relationship. Little do they know, this accomplishes only one thing: sabotaging the very relationship for which they want help.

When you stop the blamegame, you take responsibility for the role in your transpiring events.

5. Refuse To Take Responsibility

When you refuse to take responsibility, it is for one of these reasons: i) To save your skin; to look “good” (self preservation), or ii) Pride.

If you have other reasons, and there may very well be, I would love to hear them.

Researchers have a name for this behavior: it is called “selfserving bias.” What this means is that we perceive our behavior as more positive than others’ behavior.  It is the tendency to take credit for the good things that happen to you while refusing to take blame for something that goes bad.

As I mentioned above, it is also an issue of pride. We don’t want to have to humble ourselves and say, “I did it. It’s my fault. I was wrong. Please forgive me.” Some people find apologizing exceedingly hard.

When we fail to take responsibility, blame others, remain inflexible, hold onto old information and stereotype, we have created a recipe for relationship failure.

Which of these surefire ways to sabotage relationships are you guilty of, or have you experienced?

I would like to know your thoughts. Please leave your feedback below.

July 22, 2015 by Kingsley Grant Leave a Comment

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July 22, 2015 by Kingsley Grant Leave a Comment

- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-sure-fire-ways-to-sabotage-your-relationships-h2l/#sthash.NkGI7pyR.dpuf

July 22, 2015 by Kingsley Grant Leave a Comment

- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-sure-fire-ways-to-sabotage-your-relationships-h2l/#sthash.NkGI7pyR.dpuf

How to Catch a Cheating Husband Red Handed

It is a very frustrating situation for a woman to known deep in her heart that her husband is cheating on her but has no evidence to back up her claim. If you are in this kind of situation then you probably want to know how to catch a cheating husband red handed. If you think you need to be some sort of a spy or a detective to get hard evidences then you've probably not head yet of the different tools that are at your disposal. This article is for those women who are feeling hopeless already about pinning their husbands and for those who think that the only thing they can do is to resort to hiring a professional. You can catch a cheating husband red handed. Read on to find out more.

First of all, you need to know that the best way to catch a cheating husband nowadays is through the computer and cellular phone. These two gadgets are probably the most overused in our time and there are very good reasons why that is the case. Using the computer and the cell phone to communicate to other people is fast and very convenient. Messages are sent and received instantly. Using a computer and a cell phone is also very affordable. so if your husband is indeed cheating on you then there is good reason to believe that he is using his computer and cell phone to get in touch with his mistress.

You are probably thinking to yourself right now, if only there is a way for you to intercept the messages and the emails that your husband has been sending and receiving through his PC and mobile then you will have concrete evidences to substantiate what your female intuition has been telling you and you will finally catch cheating husband.

The truth is, there is a way for you to become privy to your husband's most intimate messages and emails. For his computer, you can install a software that will allow you to spy on his messages without him knowing about it. You only need to install the software once in his software and it will already be you partner in gathering evidences against your husband. Can you just imagine the peace of mind that this software will bring to you? Finally, you will be able to know what your husband has been doing behind your back.

A similar software can also be installed in your husband's cell phone. With this software installed in your husband's cell phone you can definitely catch a cheating husband red handed. Can you just imagine the kind of information that will be on your hands if you will be able to read the text messages that your husband has been sending and receiving in his mobile? If he is really seeing someone else, you will most likely have an idea who that person is because of the messages. The answers to the questions that you have been asking for will finally be yours.

Do you want more ways on how to catch a cheating husband?

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